This week, I attended a 12 hour coaching session on public speaking. I already give my share of lectures and speeches so I was reluctant to spend the time on this to begin with. But, as a favour to a friend who had organized a world class resource to come to Vancouver, I signed up.

This week, I attended a 12 hour coaching session on public speaking. I already give my share of lectures and speeches so I was reluctant to spend the time on this to begin with. But, as a favour to a friend who had organized a world class resource to come to Vancouver, I signed up.

Have you ever heard the term, "You Don't Know What You Don't Know" ? Within the first 30 minutes, I realized very clearly that I didn't know what I didn't know! By the end of the afternoon, I had learned about structure, projection, and the improvement in my presentation style was dramatic. Like I have said before, proper coaching and mentorship is so efficient in helping one go from average to good. Maybe even great. 

Much like golf .... what appears to be minor adjustments in hand and feet placement can make the difference between the ball going 15 yards or 150 yards. Business and life are the same...coaching and mentorship help you make the adjustments. 

The hardest part about this:

Understanding who or what is a good coach? Usually through trial and error or reputation. Try many...select few.

Managing fear...fear of change, fear of being criticized, fear of failing or imperfection. If you cant manage this, it is hard to get better.

In the meantime, I reposted a blog I wrote in July called Frozen In Fear. For most people,  speaking in front of large groups is one of the most terrifying experiences one could go through. Yet I ask, why?

Frozen In Fear?


No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.

Edmund Burke 

In my experience, one of the biggest limiters of us all is FEAR. And courage, to me, means not the absence of fear (I call that delusional) but the management of fear. Developing the ability to manage ones fear allows one to make more rational decisions about different situations. I believe that in order to maximize ones potential, one has to learn fear management. How? Usually by taking small steps that turn in to larger ones.

Years ago, I was as shy as could be. I used to be intimidated by talking to people...so I decided to start smiling and saying hello to one person a day. Then it became two, then three, ... you get the picture. Then I decided I was going to smile and say hello to 50 people in a row and I would keep trying until I got 50 in a row. It took me tree days of trying...

How did I even think to do this? Well I credit the martial arts. I  started studying martial arts at an early age. Started with Judo, then Kung Fu, then Tae Kwon Do. I practiced the punches, kicks, flips for hours. the whole time we would down our punching gloves and kicking gear to practice sparring with each other. Then a friend introduced me to a type of Karate called Kyokushin.

Kyokushinkaikan (極真会館) is a style of stand-up, full contact, bare knuckle/bare foot karate, founded in 1964 by Korean-Japanese karate master. One of the goals of kyokushin is to strengthen and improve character by challenging oneself through rigorous training. That it did. Famous practitioners of Kyokushin include George St. Pierre (one of the top UFC fighters today and Dolf Lundgren (the Russian specimen who fought Sylvester Stallone in Rocky).

The best thing I learned in Kyokushin is how to manage fear. In fact, the final test in Kyokushin is to fight 50 individual fighters one after another (I never was devoted enough to take this test but as I write this blog, I actually regret that I did not pursue the art to that level). 

Whats the point to this story: fear management is a learned skill. And it is one of the most important skills we can learn in order to maximize our potential. All it takes is one small step at a time.

BTW. I mentioned last week that my teeth were recently "prepped". I had both my upper teeth and lower teeth prepped and am currently wearing "temporaries" until my crowns/veneers are completed by Frontier Dental Labs. It took about a year to decide to go ahead with the process but I am very pleased that I did it. Big difference. 
(I will continue this paragraph tonight as I have to go for now. Chat later.)

Ok. I am back from enjoying a fabulous, sunny Sunday in Vancouver. I have been surprised at the response to this weeks blog - I have received more positive comments than I can remember from any other blog entry. I was going to talk about why I chose to get veneers and why I waited for over a year before getting started. But, given the response to this weeks blog,  I will talk about dentistry next week. 

Like I said, I believe that the ability to manage fear is a skill that can be learned. It takes practice and it starts with a small step. But it can be done. And a small improvement in your fear management can lead to exponential personal growth. 

In the most basic form, fear even affects how some people love others. Here is a quote I once read:

When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you... When I met you, I was afraid to kiss you... When I kissed you, I was afraid to love you... Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

Fear can also become a habit. Don't let it imprison you. Learn to manage it!
But then again, what the heck do I know? I'm just making my way in this world...