Mentorship

So, you wanna find a mentor?

Wikipedia definition:

Mentorship is a personal developmental relationship in which a more experienced or more knowledgeable person helps to guide a less experienced or less knowledgeable person. However, true mentoring is more than just answering occasional questions or providing ad hoc help. It is about an ongoing relationship of learning, dialog, and challenge.

Why do you need one? And then, how do you choose a mentor, and most importantly, why would they choose you? 

Well, good mentors help see your blind spots - things you cannot see because of lack of experience or inherent denial. And they challenge you to see them. My favorite analogy is people I used to see on the driving range (It has been years since I played golf). They would spend hours hitting hundreds of balls - but without any counselling (more commonly called coaching), all they are doing is grooving a bad swing - practicing or reinforcing a bad habit. Mentorship, in my mind, goes beyond just counselling - it becomes an ongoing relationship with each other. 

How do you choose one? First identify what your goals and objective are. Second, look at your circle of friends and contacts and start asking them about people they can introduce you too. Third - ask. There is no harm in asking. Then do a gut check - is there a personality fit between you and your potential mentor.

The tougher part is why would one want to offer mentorship to you? I can only speak for myself. It is very rewarding when you help someone who wants to put in the time, effort, and energy it takes to get better. Just like any athlete - someone who has the drive, ambition, the fire within. I find people like that rare - and I am always happy to help them along. Aside from giving back, I also learn and grow from the experience. Ultimately, it has to be an enjoyable and rewarding experience - or else why do it?.

The reality is, however, that many who ask for mentorship don't - they just want the quick answers so they don't have to put in the effort themselves.  For me, this is unrewarding. It maybe different for others - I can only speak for myself. 

Then there is the fear of change - there are a lot of people who seek mentors but are afraid to face their blindspots. Once they experience a bit of pressure - they tend to run away from situations and revert to their known response patterns. If you are looking for a mentor, just remember. A good mentor's role is to hold a mirror in front of you so you can see the flaws in you, your actions, or your logic. That's hard to face up to at times. But, in my opinion, essential for personal development. Soooo, when you feel like "running", ask yourself - am I reverting to my comfortable patterns.

Thats it for now....but then again, what do I know? Im just a guy making my way in this world.